Found

     I was a couple of years from mothering when a black cloud with a human man’s essence appeared in the upper corner of my bedroom. This was my coming-of-age induction to the Spirit world. The black cloud scared me so badly that I decidedly shut all spirits out.  I knew they were listening- I had felt them before.  I told them I wasn’t ready to speak with them and respectfully, away they went.

     It took me almost a decade to feel ready, but when I finally called on them.. they came.  All too soon, I was flooded with feelings and sensations that I couldn’t explain.  This newly accepted guidance completely altered everything I thought I knew about my life at the time.

     To make sense of the spiritual insights I was receiving, I was led to my first Taino ceremony and journey with Shamaness, Irka Mateo. At Greenstone Farm, surrounded by all hues of Brown people, the ancestors reminded me that they gifted me with a resilient heart that could not be broken.  It gave me the courage to trust the sensations and messages I was receiving (from a logically unexplainable place) and make the scary choice to lead with my heart.  From that point forward I started listening to their insights more closely.  Listening and being led. I continued diving into my shadow to find my truth. 

     A few months later, I was led to AJA, a gifted medium that delivers messages from Spirits/Ancestors/Angels, etc. with the help of her guide, Monty. On Instagram, she shared her raw story of what led her to become “the Spirit Guide Coach” and in a moment of boldness, I bought a ticket to her next event in Los Angeles.  A few months later, after taking two of her courses and practicing with classmates in the Spirit House community I finally had the language for what I am Medium. (Also clairvoyant, clairsentient, clairaudient, an “emotional intuitive empath” among other things I’m still discovering..) Those groups helped me realize I’ve been normalizing a strong connection to Spirits.

“Listening & being led.”

With a full house of four kids, I don’t get a chance to sit down and “tap in” often. (Too many voices at once.) But in Italy, last summer, on a solo trip, I was given time to sit in my gift and it was the most powerful experience I’ve ever felt.  I had the most profound spiritual experiences that took months for me to verbalize.  I was more in my purpose than I had been in a long time. I was immersed in the purest qualities of my desires as a human being.  My mind, body, and spirit were deeply nourished from the ground up on land that had been cherished and respected for centuries.  I heard the spirits of the trees and of those mountains like a symphony. A perfect setting for accepting the fullness and complexities of this extension of consciousness.

     At this point, given these experiences, I can only live from my deepest truth. I will accept and omit more love in my life because it is the most radiant thing I can do for this planet and it’s the least I can do. There are people in my life who have ancestors who are eagerly waiting- like you would at a bus station for an arriving relative.  The least I can do is open the door for you.